Sunday , 20 May 2018

Today We’re All a Little German: Oktoberfest in McKinney!

eliska counceI have a shameful admission. I have lived in McKinney since 1998, and I have never attended one of the city’s biggest parties: Oktoberfest on the historic Downtown Square. A day and a night of celebration of beer, brats, and all things German. I know, I know. As a big fan of outdoor beer drinking, how could I have missed attending this celebration up until now? Regardless, I’m correcting that error today, and I could not be more stoked!

Oh, sure, I’m excited because when you have three kids, babysitting costs slightly less than a mortgage payment and as a result, dates with the Hubs can be few and far between. So just getting out of the house and being able to complete the sentences we utter to each other is going to be exhilarating. And what better time could be had than at an outdoor, German, beer-themed festival?

We’re headed downtown today (it’s a Friday-Saturday event) and so should you. Here’s some of the highlights of Oktoberfest I simply cannot wait to experience:

Alphorns. There so better be some alphorns there. I will resist throat-punching anyone near me who yells out “RIIIIIICOLA” at their sounding. I also am eager to see people wandering around with accordions. There simply must be accordions. I insist. I just enjoy saying “Oompa Band;” I can’t imagine the thrill of hearing one live. I may or may not participate in a polka. Bring on the volkmusik!

Beer. Duh. This is a conservative town. I am still a little surprised at the stamp of approval of a crowd of people drinking out of open containers, but I’m not looking a gift outdoor beer festival in the mouth. So not only am I looking very forward to sampling the brew, I am eager to people watch and see how my fellow citizens respond to the occasion. Public intoxication can be amusing when not taken to extremes and nobody’s operating heavy machinery, natch. And it’s going to be great beer: locally produced by the heavenly Franconia company, so I know the adult beverages will live up to the Oktoberfest hype. Here’s to no bodily fluids on the streets. Related:

Sausage! Hopefully made mobile on a stick. I cannot wait to stuff my maw with all the fantastic Teutonic treats that will be made available to me! I could make a suggestive statement here (the innuendo is hard to resist), but we’re a family publication. I will keep it clean: Bring on the brats. And I don’t mean my children. I want meat. I want to eat grilled pork until I am greasy to the elbow. Potato pancakes. Strudel. And if I want to eat reindeer, there’s even wild game. Please no one tell Santa.

Men in lederhosen. Yes. Men. In lederhosen. Is there really much else to say?

Weenie dog races! Yes! I love weenies. I love dogs. I love races! It’s a win-win-win. I may die of the cute. Evidently the festival planners will let your dog race even if he’s just a wanna-be weenie, which I found quite politically correct. I’m leaving my Golden Retriever home, however, as she would most likely end up snatching sausages from unsuspecting children and lapping up beer out of my mug. And she’s much too fat to race, sadly. But I look forward to the many dachshunds. When they get cats to race is when I’m really gonna be interested, though.

Bier barrel races. I haven’t seen this phenomena, so I’m not sure how barrels race. But darned if I’m not determined to find out. I half hope naked people will be wearing them while running. When there’s alcohol involved, I suppose a lot is possible, though.

Squee! It’s an institution, Oktoberfest in our city! A rite of passage. Now, I may truly be called a McKinnsian. So why are you still sitting here staring at your screen? Get out to Oktoberfest on the darling McKinney, Texas Downtown Square now yourself! After you thoroughly puruse for all the latest scuttlebutt, of course. Then, get you a Bavarian pretzel in one fist and a bier in the other, because today, we can all be a little German. And I don’t mean Angel Merkel. Ach du lieber!

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