Saturday , 19 August 2017

Reflection: Graduation at Last

By Hallie B.
Serenity High School Class of 2011

Once you get to high school it all changes, friends, things at home.  Life is totally different, you start wanting to be your own person and experimenting with new things.  But that experimenting can get you into a lot of trouble.  I’m Hallie B and this is my journey through the jungle.

I was ready for high school after the summer going into ninth grade.  Life was great.  I had a lot of friends and I was on top of my game.  I was driven and motivated to accomplish anything that was put right in front of me.  The year before that I had tried out to be in show choir for ninth grade.  I made it of course.  And I was the only ninth grader who had ever made it.  I was talented and had a lot of potential; I mean I could have gone as far as college with my talent.  But it all came crashing down when I decided that high school partying was more important.  I started hanging around the people whose lives were just as miserable as mine.  If I met someone new, I knew right away that they would become my new best friend.  And you ask why?  Because I seemed to have that radar.

After three years and finally a junior, things started to get a little whack.  I was always feeling depressed and always wanting to go out and smoke another joint.  When my parents finally figured out that I had some problems and needed to do some soul searching, they sent me into an inpatient program.  There I learned that I was dealing with things that had happened in the past, like my father who abandoned me at two years of age.  I had self esteem issues one after the other.  I was trying to figure out what was my purpose and why I’m here and why am I going through this.  I felt like I was alone and no one has had the life that I have.  We all know that’s not true of course. I was in a hole of self pity and self worthlessness.

Getting out, my parents thought it was a good idea to send me to a different school.  One that was small and one where I could focus on myself.  But that’s the last thing I needed. This private school only made things worse for me.  Everybody at that school partied and that’s what they were all about.  This school was so easy that you didn’t even have to focus on your work.  You could even text in class and they didn’t give one whether or not you were paying attention.  Honestly, in private schools I think they’re just there for the money.  Me going to the school even put me further into a pit hole.  I couldn’t bare anything – my life felt as if it was pointless and there was no meaning.  I felt like I was on auto pilot, not really knowing what my life was meant for.  And that my friend is what brought me back into another treatment center.

Two months after being in that place, I realized that I not only had problems that I wasn’t facing, but that there was broken ends that needed to be put back together.  I wasn’t focusing on my health or how my actions affected the people around me.  I was selfish only caring about my feelings and what poor Hallie was going through.  Well boohoo.  I mean life’s not perfect, but at least I’m alive and living.  Like they all say, what we go through makes us stronger.  Well damn straight it made me stronger.

When my parents were scared to death about me, they made some calls and found a school called Serenity High.  I wasn’t too excited to go to a new school.  This was my third high school that I now would have gone to.  It brought back a lot of feelings when I was younger of how I would move place to place and school to school.  It can get kind of old.  As I walked into the school I knew right away that this was going to be a great place for me.  After telling me it was self paced and it was a school that was more understanding about you and not just focused on other things that are pointless and not of help, stress was already lifted off my shoulders.

My first day of school there was kind of strange and really uncomfortable.  Meeting people just like you can kind of get really annoying.  You tend to disagree on a lot of things just because of your inability to think like a normal human being.  But I wasn’t there to make friends.  I was there to finish high school.

I worked my butt off every day, every week, and every month till I got my work done, getting one credit after another closer to my final class.  I know I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but damn it was sure hard to reach.  Let me just say it wasn’t all butterflies and flowers trying to figure out how I was going to graduate.  It took hard work and focus to get where I am today.  The choices I made today are sure going to affect me in the future.  That’s why I’m so glad that I was able to come to this school.  Not only did it help me educationally, but it helped me emotionally.  I couldn’t have done it without Serenity High.  This school has such a great program, and spectacular people who will go to wits ends to help you be a better person.  Not only do I get to graduate with Serenity, the best school ever made, on time.  But I also get to graduate with my class and walk on stage with my Wakefield High School class of 2011.  I even got to go to my own prom.  I didn’t stay for long, but at least I got that once in a lifetime experience.

Without Serenity High School, I couldn’t have done it.  I will always remember my first and last days at this school.  What we are is God’s gift to us.  What we become is our gift to God.

 

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