Monday , 20 November 2017

Momma Drama: Paging Dr. Seuss … A Mother’s ABCs

Big A, little a. What begins with A? Angst, anger, and aggravation, A A A.

Big B, little b. What begins with B? Baby barf and back-talk, B B B.

Big C, little c. What begins with C? Cacophony and crying children, C C C.

Big D, little d. What begins with D? Dying dreams, dirty diapers, and a dog to ride, too.

Big E, little e. What begins with E? Ear pollution, ego death, excrement, E E E.

Big F, little F. Feelings of failure, F F F.

Big G, little g. What begins with G? Guzzling Grey Goose, G G G.

Big H, little h. A hat for the car pool lane. Hooray! Hooray!

Big I, little i. I I I. My children are irate, and so am I.

Big J, little j. What begins with J? Juice box, jelly stain, and morning joe begin that way.

Big K, little k. Kleenex. Kerfuffles. Kafkaesque existence and karate lessons, too.

Big L, little l. Little Lola Lop. Large lap. Lazy mommy’s lamentations over her lot.

Big M, little m. Many messy minions making midnight messes in the moonlight. Mighty tired.

Big N, little n. What begins with those? Nine new pairs of shoes this year and noses pouring snot.

O is very useful. You use it when you say, “Oh hell no you didn’t!” and “Oh God get me through this day.”

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO…P.

Pee in pink pajamas. Puking in a pail. Pulling on the puppy’s ears, and now mom’s pulling out her hair.

Big Q, little q, what begins with Q? The quick Queen of Quincy and her quagmire of poo.

Big R, little r. Rosy Robin Ross. On account of raging hormones, Rosy’s looking ridiculous.

Big S, little s. Silly Sammy Slick. If mommy’s got some free time, you know that’s when he’s sick.

T..T t…t. What begins with T? Time with a two year old sends mommy up a tree.

Big V, little v. What begins with V? Valium and vitriol. V V V.

W…w…W. Get used to washing as it is now all that you will do.

X is very useful if your name is Nixie Knox. It also comes in handy writing “I used to be a fox.”

Big Y, little y. Yawning. Yellow yack. Also for your lost youth for yelling “Put that back!”

ABCDEFG…HIJKLMNOP…QRSTUV…W…X…Y…and…Z.

Big Z, little Z. What begins with Z?  It stands for all my missing sleep. Cause I’m a mom, you see.

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