Dr. Hales, a psychotherapist and Jungian analyst-in-training, is founder of Counseling and Consulting Associates of North Texas in McKinney (CCA North Texas) and the Crescent Moon Lodge and Retreat Center in Oklahoma near the Texas border. Dr. Kitchens is a noted author and psychotherapist.
Details about the workshop retreat:
The philosopher Gaston Bachelard asked, “What is the source of our first suffering?” His answer is that our first suffering came when we began to accumulate “secret things within us.” It came with the original decision to “hesitate to speak.” Bachelard is referring to shame that most of us first experienced as a child. A name for shame is “the hurting heart,” and no pain in this life is greater.
Shame says, “You are not OK and you must not let them see the person you are.” From that point, life is about developing what we consider an acceptable self to show. In this way, we lose connection with our true self and construct a false self behind which we hide. Over time, this shame game becomes so habitual that we lose all awareness of our authentic self, the self God intended us to be.
Recovery is the process of peeling off the layers of the false self and letting the true self emerge. What replaces shame is self-awareness and health self-acceptance. That sounds easy to do but, in truth, it is a tough mountain to climb. We face many difficult questions:
- Am I stuck here or is there hope for a way out?
- Is it worth all the effort required?
- Is a loving relationship even possible for me?
- Whom can I trust?
- Things have gone wrong so many times before; why should it be any different now?
- Why did God let these things happen to me and is God any help at all?
The weekend workshop on Oct. 19-21 examines these and related questions, and searches for satisfying answers. The therapists will lead workshop attendees in considering questions of intimacy, healing, how we got to where we are, and issues of self-esteem and healthy self-love. The goal is to better understand the nature of shame in our life, the secret things we have accumulated, and how to bring out into the light of day the person we really are.
Participants’ arrival time is 7 p.m. Oct. 19 and departure time is 11 a.m. Oct. 21. The $450 cost includes lodging, five meals and two therapists during the weekend workshop. To register, please call CCA North Texas at 972-542-8144. A $100 nonrefundable deposit will guarantee your spot; the balance is due upon check-in. Space is limited to 10 participants. When you register, please let CCA know if you have any special dietary requirements.