Thursday , 26 April 2018

Commentary: Stage 2 Watering … Nero Fiddles as McKinney Floods Itself!

Submitted by TSB Community

Up-front disclaimer: The following is sprinkled (pun intended) with sarcasm to illustrate a point. Any offense taken to my ramblings just highlights a lack of sense of humor or a guilty complex … 🙂

As North Texas basks in our overflowing water tables due to Mother Nature showering us with her seemingly full watering can this year, I have drawn some conclusions that have led me to these musings. 

As each week passes and another rainfall covers us, I can’t help to notice how wonderful our greenways, trees, golf courses and future strip-mall development weed coverings look.  This is cause for celebration!  After all, the last 3-4 years have turned McKinney into a perceived desert with many of our areas suffering as we are punished with watering our native grasses and plants with the ghastly rule of “1 day per week.” Oh, the humanity.  We were actually forced to interact with that strange device in our garages that could monitor when and how long we could water.  To my surprise it really wasn’t like the Indiana Jones movie and found out when you touch it a giant boulder will NOT crush our subdivision!

I wonder how we could celebrate such a wonderful event, as I sit admiring the giant mosquito’s sitting on mushrooms the size of pumpkins in my lawn.  Lo and behold, our powers that be, in their infinite wisdom, have already thought of that.  That is why they are there and my mere mortal mind could never think of such a thing.  Let’s lower the restrictions! In fact let’s put a giant sign on Virginia Parkway to let everyone know that we have been spared from Mother Nature’s sandbox.  Let’s make it a flashing marquee so all could see and rejoice.  Twice a week everyone! and for those who can’t count, ah what the heck whenever you feel like, which seems to be the case as I drive through our impenetrable bubble called Stonebridge Ranch.  Nothing bad happens here!

In fact, I think I figured out why the common areas and parkways have so many broken sprinkler heads.  The Old Faithful approach to watering actually covers more area when you just let it go straight up (writer slaps his head once again confirming his mortal brain).  Also the small broken heads allow our dogs to drink from the endless fountain as we walk them.  I also think I have figured out why the Mallard Lakes common area (not singling out Mallard Lakes or its residents, I just pass it every day and noticed this) has its sprinklers on while it’s raining.  It creates that beautiful, misty fog reminiscent of my days sailing the British north seas.  I really have never left the continental US but it makes for a nice metaphor don’t you think?

So I think that if our water tables are at a decent level, we have had more rain than we know what to do with, my plants and shrubbery seem to be growing by the minute, then why should I have to water at all?  Let’s keep the restriction at Level 3 just to be safe and ensure that we don’t have a July and August with 0.0000000000000001 inch of rain?  You heretic, you blasphemer!  How dare you keep me from my right to water my Bermuda grass at will and wash my Tahoe 3 times per week even though I just drive to the gym!

Can’t you see, you Simpleton?  The more water we have the more we should use!  Dare I say in a whisper …conserve … as I mention that word I am dragged by water hose and tied to a Stonebridge common area where I am watered daily until I am waterlogged to the point of thinking I am a distant relative of King Neptune.

I also found out the only time I can use the word ‘liberal’ is when it refers to my watering habits.  I will remember that one during the upcoming general elections!

So, water away McKinneyites. Fear not. Our water is endless! Bring out your Slip-N-Slides; wash your cars, your pets, your stately brick structures..I’ll see you in August and sell you a bottle of water for $4.50…many times a liberal…but always a capitalist. 🙂 … Peace

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