Wednesday , 23 May 2018

Angie’s Insights: No Need For Despair, Guys, Just Because Valentine’s Day is Upon Us

By Angie Bado, TSB Publisher

I couldn’t help but notice the couple sitting at the bar in a local establishment on Sunday afternoon.

For one thing, they were sitting in my direct view, and secondly, he couldn’t keep his hands off her – whispering in her ear, (she laughing in response), kissing her neck, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. Ah, love. 

Their display of romance reminded me that Valentine’s Day is just a few days away. But just mention the holiday in mixed company and  groans from the men (and sometimes the women) can be heard throughout the room. Shared sentiments of “I don’t know what to get for my wife (or girlfriend)” or, “Valentine’s Day is just a bunch of hype. We go out to an over-priced restaurant, have terrible service and end up spending too much money for mediocre food” go around the room. Sound familiar?

Not only that, but many of us who are single dread to see the arrival of pink and red hearts in the grocery stores, the roses packed into the refrigerated cases in the floral shops and the seemingly endless ads displaying an endless array of gift possibilities for our loved one. They somehow remind us that we are “unlucky in love” – that we are alone.

Yes, (sigh) it can be such a drag to have to think about a holiday built around the concept of love, particularly when love and romance are often topics that many a man prefers to avoid. Men start stressing over the fact that something is expected of them. 

You know the drill. The “I’m so sorry honey, I completely forgot about Valentine’s Day,” or the “Something came up at work and I just didn’t have time to get you something or make a reservation for dinner” statements. (And by the way, gentlemen, I understand that this kind of thing happens to you too!)

One of my male friends told me that “there shouldn’t be one day – Feb. 14 – that emphasis is put on a relationship. A relationship should be the priority every day.” The feelings about your significant other can become forced – expected if you will – on Valentine’s Day, he went on the explain.

Yes, it’s easy, with all the hype on TV and in the media, for our expectations to get out of whack. If we don’t get that diamond necklace or have that “perfect” romantic dinner, we are disappointed. Those expectations, my friend pointed out, combined with disappointment can make us lose sight of what the holiday is supposed to be about – the relationship we are in. He’s probably right. 

The truth is, we we shouldn’t save our declarations of affection for one day of the year. Hopefully most of us don’t. We should, though, appreciate the sweet things that our significant other does for us throughout the year. Maybe your partner delivers a cup of coffee to you each morning as you prepare for your day, perhaps he doesn’t mind when you put your cold feet on his warm side of the bed, or, maybe you receive that “just checking in” phone call everyday, which means your sweet significant other is thinking of you. (at least momentarily) 

For those of you who have a significant other, time is the greatest gift you can give either other. Have a cocktail at the Belmont Hotel while enjoying the sunset and the beautiful view of Dallas together.  (And come on now, without the interruption of your cell phone vibrating or ringing). Guys, spend time, even if it’s only one hour, doing something she wants to do – visiting the arboretum or going to a musical production. Bite the bullet and go to a chick flick, or whatever it is that is on her list, once in a while. All too often we get on the treadmill of life and put it in high gear and don’t stop to take a break to make certain that we are paying attention to each other. 

Valentine’s Day is a bittersweet holiday. We love it and we hate it. This Valentine’s Day, don’t get caught up in what you feel you are supposed to be doing or what you think your are expected. Instead, focus on what’s really  important – your relationship. It will end up being much less stressful and much more enjoyable day. 

I don’t know what I’ll be doing Feb. 14, but I intend to love it this year. Maybe I’ll be hunkered down with a box of Fleur de Sel Caramels (my favorites) from Recchiuti Confections while watching Downton Abby. Maybe I’ll take a break from reading work related materials and chill out with Fifty Shades Freed. One thing is for certain; I will spend time with those I love, and this year, I’ll focus on the relationship, instead of buying into the hype of what Valentine’s Day is “supposed” to be.

So don’t despair guys. Just chill and focus on your relationship and the rest will fall into place. That will surely make your Valentine’s Day a memorable one.

Happy Valentine’s Day!



In case you’re interested: History of Valentine’s Day 

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